Tuesday, May 25, 2010


If hearts were radios and each would find the frequencies
they thought would be suitable to them,
mine would find his.
Or so I'd thought.
And for some time we zoned in on each other's,
tweaking in and tweaking high,
never out and never low.

So it stayed for that some time.
For we were never one.
Only zoning in and tweaking high,
absorbing each other's buzzes,
sharing music and stories and news,
and likes and dislikes,
and more often than not just listening,
tuning in on each other's frequencies,
content in a private, outsider way.

At times our frequencies crossed.
At times our frequencies found each other.
At times I had so fervently hoped,
that at the time our frequencies intertwined,
we'd finally broadcast in a singular, unified occurence,
that was ours.
Our frequency.

That time came and went.
And came and went again.
And the last time it came, it went out the door.
My radio-heart was tired.
Of tuning in to an irresponsive air,
which would not blow its way.
And so it honed in on another,
a different transmission this time,
it was content in its own way,
a different type of comfort,
a luxurious pleasure
eradicating the anguish of such wait.

My radio-heart at ease at last
as his frequency faded to the background
til it could not be heard again.
For some time it went on like this,
my new-found frequency, in beat with another,
was at full blast diffusing our melodies,
as one.
And at the height of our refrain,
one of which I was experiencing with another,
through our very special bond,
someone honed in on his frequency,
and they, too, became one.

My radio-heart was happy and was sad,
was worried and was tired.
At last its frequency broke free,
in the form of a little, microscopic strand,
and tuned in to the wave of
the one which it had departed,
at last.
It was curiosity, it was anxiety,
a whole lot of apprehension,
and concern, and discomfort.

My little, microscopic strand,
fidgety in its unease,
did what little fidgety things do,
and turned care into fret,
and sympathy to exasperation.
And in its aggravation,
my little, microscopic strand
caused interference on their transmission
and I was shut off.

Our programs went on.
My radio-heart is still
with the half that makes me whole,
broadcasting our melodies,
in a singular wave that was ours,
fused, cohesive, united.
One frequency.
A unification, an integration,
an incorporation of all things odd and contradictory,
that was nevertheless ours.
We had never broadcasted in the same zone,
in a likewise wave,
yet we stayed true to each other.
As one.

Time passed.
Lately I've been honing in on his signal,
the one whose signal mimics mine,
but was a thousand wave-leagues away
on the air.
Our frequencies passed and our radio-hearts smiled.
Hello, we both said.
A new beginning.
But this time,
even when they passed,
even when they entertwined,
our frequencies would not get entangled,
nor entwined.
We knew better than that.

I'm still broadcasting in unison with my half.
And maybe he with his.
We're released in an unbound wave
of broadcasts and signals
and programs and songs.
The air is limitless.
And so am I.

Image credits go to:
5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

*Heard Frente's Bizarre Love Triangle as I was driving home from picking up my little sis, and something was tugging at my mind to write this.
I also made peace with myself today, which felt extremely gratifying. It feels good to be back on the blogosphere again.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Hello people of earth!

I've been pretty much VERY busy this week.
And not because of visa applications, which some of my friends have been led to believe,
which also is very far from the truth since I haven't really gotten anywhere near done in doing it :p,
but because I have been employed
as the family personal chaffeur.

My recently retired driver had a contract which specified he would be employed until June,
but he'd already found a new job which started this May and asked for an early lay-off.
My housekeeper offered her uncle as the new driver, but my Mom declined since he didn't really know his way around the city.
And I thought I'd save the day by saying that I'll instead drive the family around,
a decision that I soon-no, not regret-wished I'd put more thoughts into.

I never knew being a driver would be so tiring.
I drive an average of more than 100 km per day.
And that's just from home-Tamara's school-Farrah's uni-Papi's office-and back home again.
Not counting the going to and from Tamara's hopefully future highschool (she's a ninth grader currently), SMA 70 Jakarta, for entrance exams and results and whatnot.

And speaking about results, Tamara graduated from junior high with flying colors!!!
Do pay her a visit here guys!
She's a fashion blogger and got some pretty impressive pics at her page.

But, despite being busy driving the family to their intended destinations, I have managed to squeeze in gatherings, such as the Accounting Farewell and Reunion party last week,
and the latest,
indeed this was taken mere hours before this is posted,
a date with the all-around wonderful guy, H!
Chocolate surprise from H! :D
 He bought a magazine, I bought a book.
The blitz and blur from my lack of photography skills successfully censored my member barcode. :p
We grabbed a quick dinner and went home. :)

During the date Hasbi very casually told me that I look chubbier than ever.
"And not that it's a bad thing," he said, "because it's actually very good."
For him, the chubby, cherubic, cutesy chick look/thing is a definite turn on.
But for me, and I believe girls in general, I don't want to be told that I'm chubbier.
Girls want to hear from people-and especially from our boyfriends-that we've actually lost some pounds and that we look rather ravishing in our new bods,
which is why I've been slaving away at the gym during my free time recently.

I'm sure you'd have thought that with regular workout at the gym plus all the exhaustion from being a personal chaffeur, one would lose a couple of pounds.
Quite the contrary as yours truly have actually gained some.

H asked me a couple days back on the phone, "What are you gonna do then, when you've reached your ideal weight?"
to which I promptly replied, "Buy new clothes for the new bod!" with one of those duh-rolling-eyes thing that I do so well.
His response was a mere scoff.

People told me I should be grateful that I have a boyfriend who'd probably like you more when you put on some weight than when you lose some.
But H is one person compared to the 1.6 billion other people in the world who'd prefer skinny chicks than chubby ones.
And let's face it we grew up in a world and time that very much prefers the former than the latter.

Having typed this I realize that maybe I would better be off living in Ancient Greece where the people had so much appreciation for chubby women like I am. :p
I'm sure I'd be quite a catch. :p

I've got two more occasions lined up in my scheduled this week!
First up is meeting up with my girls to visit Saura's newly born nephew tomorrow!!!
Last time we met up, Saura, Ratih and Rora couldn't join us. :(
This pretty lady took our pics and because she's so kind she got a frame all to herself. :p
The boyfriends.
We're not quite sure if the heart symbolizes how much we love these guys or how much they love each other LOL.

And on the day after, I'm off to catch a movie and go karaoke-ing with these wonderful peeps.
Last time I went out on a karaoke, this happened.

Quite atrocious, I'm sure. :p
Tania took this footage.
Naturally she's the one on the left and I'm the one on the right.

There are two other people who would be joining us. It's been a rather long time since we watched a movie together.
The last time we watched a movie together.
The whole crew when we went out that day.
Movie sucked but we had lots of fun nevertheless.
Have a great week ahead peeps!

Lots of love,
Intan :)

A bonus:
They look real shady and suspicious-looking, don't they?
LOL. This is JK of course. ;)
Go and visit MonMon here!

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